How to Get Real Estate Referrals

The real estate market is going through a dip. In fact, in some markets sellers are delisting their properties instead of lowering their asking price in an unprecedented move.

More than ever, agents are looking for ways to monetize their sphere of influence and get more business without having to spend more money.

So today, we’re going to talk about how to get real estate referrals because leveraging your existing network has a massive value with each member in your sphere of influence potentially being worth $10,000.

The Brutal Truth About Real Estate Referrals

Here’s the lie that’s killing your referral business: “If I do a great job for my clients, the referrals will come naturally.”

This passive approach is why most agents struggle. You provide incredible service, go above and beyond, and then… crickets.’

Maybe you get a referral every few months if you’re lucky. Meanwhile, you’re watching other agents seem to get referrals constantly and wondering what you’re doing wrong.

The problem isn’t your service quality. The problem is waiting for referrals to happen instead of creating systems that generate them proactively.

Top-producing agents engineer their referrals.

They understand that even people who love you need a reason and an opportunity to refer you. Without both, even your biggest fans will forget you exist when their friend mentions needing an agent.

How to Get Referrals from Instagram

In a recent podcast from REDX, Jimmy Mackin shared an inspiring story of a regular agent with a normal sphere of influence… posted this simple Instagram story poll:

Here’s what happened next: She followed up with every single person who engaged with the poll. Not with a sales pitch. With genuine questions about their situation. “Hey, saw you voted on my poll about the market. What’s your situation? Are you actually looking to make a move?”

Three weeks later: $1.5 million closed deal.

This is the new referral generation. While most agents wait for people to remember they’re in real estate, smart agents are creating natural conversation starters that reveal who in their sphere is ready to transact.

The Proactive 2-step Real Estate Referral System

Most agents think asking for referrals means saying something awkward like “Do you know anyone who needs to buy or sell?”

This approach fails because it puts people on the spot without giving them a reason to act.

The winning agents flip this completely. They create referral opportunities by becoming the source of valuable market information for their sphere. Here’s the exact system Jimmy Mackin teaches to top producers:

Step 1: Find a Great Opportunity

Every week, find one great opportunity in your market. Could be an off-market listing you heard about. A property going viral on the portals. A pocket listing in your office.

Something that’s going to move quickly and get attention.

Step 2: Contact 10 People Using Jimmy Mackin’s Real Estate Referral Script

Then contact 10-15 well-connected people in your database with this script:

“Hey [Name], I know you’re not actively looking to make a move, but because you’re so well-connected, I wanted to share this with you. I found a new listing that’s going active this week that I think will sell very quickly. Who do you know in your network that we should share this with?”

This gives people a reason to refer you. Instead of asking them to remember you exist, you’re providing immediate value while creating a natural conversation about who they know.

Energy Management: Call Your Mom After Calling Referrals (Seriously)

Here’s something most agents get backwards: they save their sphere of influence calls for the end of the day when they’re mentally exhausted from prospecting cold leads.

Stop doing this.

As Corinne Defilippis said in a recent Monday Motivation call:

“Don’t wait to the end of the day. Real estate agents spend our days putting out fires and you’re going to lose the energy to prospect if you wait too long.”

Instead, you need to take referral building seriously. Treat it like another prospecting session.

Stop managing time, start managing energy

Performance coach Dr. Julie Gardner studied highly successful people and discovered they organize their day around energy management, not time management.

Start with activities that give you energy and build momentum, then tackle the challenging tasks when you’re already flying high.

Call Referrals First

Smart agents call their past clients and sphere first (people who love them) before calling expired listings or FSBOs. They post content that excites them before grinding through difficult prospect calls.

One REDX agent actually calls her mom between tough prospecting sessions because “after that, I’m beaten down.”

Your sphere of influence should energize you, not drain you. These are people who already know, like, and trust you. Use these positive interactions to fuel the rest of your prospecting activities.

Get Referrals Without Burnout

This energy-first approach is one of the most effective ways to combat real estate agent burnout.

When you start your day with positive SOI interactions instead of cold rejection, you build momentum rather than drain your mental reserves. Learn more about recognizing and beating real estate burnout here.

The 120-Day Real Estate Referral Formula

Here’s a system for systematically working your entire database: Sort your contacts by people you haven’t talked to in the last 120 days.

Create a filtered list

Create a filtered list in your CRM. These are people who know you, but you’ve lost touch. They’re warm relationships that have gone dormant. This is pure gold that most agents completely ignore.

Contact people you haven’t talked to in 120 days

Your goal: Contact 15-20 of these people every week with value-first outreach. Share market updates relevant to their neighborhood. Send them information about what their home might be worth now. Ask about their family or business—things you remember about them from past conversations.

Referral Script for Your SOI

The script framework:

“Hi [Name], I was just updating my database and realized it’s been way too long since we’ve connected. I’ve been helping a lot of people in [their area] lately and thought you might find this market update interesting. Also, how’s [specific personal detail you remember about them]?”

This approach reactivates dormant relationships while positioning you as their local market expert. You’re providing value and reconnecting personally.

While digital outreach works well for many contacts, some relationships warrant a more personal touch. For your highest-value dormant contacts or centers of influence, consider sending handwritten notes or strategic direct mail pieces.

Try alternative prospecting methods

Golden letters and personalized direct mail can be particularly effective for reactivating relationships that have gone cold, especially with older contacts who appreciate more traditional communication methods.

The Center of Influence Strategy

Not everyone in your sphere of influence is equal. Centers of influence are the people who know lots of other people and aren’t afraid to make introductions.

Identify 10-15 people who fit this profile: business owners, community leaders, social connectors, long-time residents, professionals who work with homeowners (mortgage brokers, contractors, attorneys).

Prioritize High-Referral Sources

These people get different treatment. They get your best content first. They get exclusive market updates. They get invited to special events. You remember their birthdays and important life events. You treat them like the VIPs they are.

The payoff: One strong center of influence can generate 5-10 referrals per year. Focus more attention on fewer people who have bigger networks rather than trying to maintain surface-level relationships with everyone.

Create a “center of influence” tag in your CRM. Track not just who they are, but who they’ve referred to you and what they’re interested in. This becomes your referral multiplication system.

How to Get More Real Estate Referrals Using the 120-Day System

While most agents wait for referrals to happen, the successful ones have turned their sphere of influence into a predictable lead generation machine.

Referrals aren’t about luck or even great service, they’re about systems. The agents getting consistent referrals have consistent processes for creating referral opportunities, following up on relationships, and staying top-of-mind with their sphere.

Your sphere of influence already knows you, likes you, and trusts you. They want to help you succeed. But they need systems that make it easy for them to refer you and natural opportunities to do so.

Stop waiting for people to remember you exist. Start creating reasons for them to think of you regularly.

No matter how good you get at requesting referrals, even the top agents still need a consistent pipeline of leads to prospect. Thats why top real estate coaches still recommend REDX. Click to learn more about REDX’s full prospecting system that will help you get more leads this year.